This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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