It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
