Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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