i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
