Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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