well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
