WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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