Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
