He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
