We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
