I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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