Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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