Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
