I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
