We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
