last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
