Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
