dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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