those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
