would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
love makes seman taste better
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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