youre lurking in front of me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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