i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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