You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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