Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
