we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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