your room smells of hookers.
And success
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize