I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
