I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just found puke in my bra..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
