i already hear my dad disowning me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
