Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize