Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You're like the curious george of whores
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He? As in you personified your dick?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
