You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
