I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize