new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
