just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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