you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
