I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
