You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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