pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My liver just had a heart attack.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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