I'm so fucking centered right now
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
