addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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