Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
