Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Will exercising make me less horny?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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