Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
