Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
