I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize