idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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