For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
