# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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