At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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