bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
