There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
