hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
