if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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