i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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