i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
