Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
