I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
