So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
