I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
