...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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