were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
