I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
