Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
