just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
