angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
