Can Purell be used as lube?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
