One girl and one boy is just not enough.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
