Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize