4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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