he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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