I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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