At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
