I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
